We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off

To have a good time....

p.s. cherry wine pairs wonderfully with duck baguette*

Cherry Wine
1 bottle of your favourite light Chardonnay
1 cup pitted cherries

Blend until smooth and chill before serving

*recipe and imagery forthcoming



Junior year of college, I spent a semester in London.  I chose London because I'd become enamored in my youth, had a hot little thing for Robin Hood and was roped into an odd love for The Clash when I was 12.  Also, I would live on my own instead of with a host family.  That was pretty much the deciding factor.  Looking back, I should have greased whomever bent the rules for Stacy Robbins and gone to Florence instead.  For, I too was crushing on Michelangelo quite a bit.  A few of my besties headed to Madrid since they were too cool for school, but unlike Robbins, were famously hosted by Spanish families. Stacy (not Robbins) Jill broke hearts left and right, ("love me today, love me tomorrow...") and Michael, a lover not a fighter, was making hearts flutter as well.  So what if it was the beat beat of his host "Dad"?  I'd hear stories of Mikey being chased around the house while the host perv squealed, "Miguelito!  Miguelito!", trying to goose him, with Gonzalo in hysterics.  God Bless the Queen.  

For spring break, while the other Orangemen took their ISICs down to the Canary Islands, I headed to Spain.  For some culture, dammit.  Also, to rock it out in the Plaza Mayor.  It was my first true experience with true Spanish food.  Tortilla Espanol, Croquetas, Manchego.  Endless plates of egg, meat, potatoes and cheese.  Meat, potatoes, cheese and eggs.  Potatoes, cheese, eggs, and meat.  Cheese, eggs, meat and potatoes.  That's what I got.  I don't think I spied a single vegetable in the two weeks I was there.  Not even in Sevilla.... just paella there.  It got to the point where if I didn't see anything popping off the menu, croquetas were my go to.  I mean, fry a car part and it's delicious.  You right, Alex, you right.  A deep fryer makes everything better. 

Not sure if you heard, but your gubment shut down.  For two weeks plus.  Since I was unable to get into my office (thanks, Cruz, for my semi-staycation... I can't even believe you sad childish little assholes... WAIT.  Breathe and STOP.  For real???), I spent a LUDICROUS amount of time in my other office.  The one y'all share with me.  So much time, I'm doing extra yoga sessions to make up for it.  So.  In my alt-office madness, I became master of the leftover.  Oh, and I had leftovers.  More specifically, the root vegetable puree that accompanied the schnitzel.  You heard.  Fucking schnitzel!  With no Andrew or Peter to eat the remainder, something had to be done.  Believe you me, ALL that leftover root vegetable puree got put to good use and the leftover bacon to boot.  Andrew and Peter should stop by this weekend. I'll bribe with DC Brau and a fabulous lanai (miss you Stacy Jill).

During the 2013 shitdown (not a typo), I made a quick turnaround to Madrid.  Croquetas were calling.  Airfare? $0.  Hotel? $0.  Reliving my 20th year with imaginary 20 year old Mikeys, Stacys, and G-Loves by my side?  Priceless.  

The croquetas?  So good, I want to fly down to Miami, chase Michael around his living room squealing, "Miguelito! Miguelito!".  I'll let his wife goose him.

Fry about 6 strips of bacon and set the swine aside.  Drain half the fat from the pan and replace with butter.  Ya HEARD??? Chop one turnip and blanch in water for about 30 seconds.  It will remove the bitterness leaving the sweet sweet.  Sautee 1/2 yellow onion, the chopped turnip and 1 apple in the drippings and butter.  Set this aside too.  Boil a yukon gold potato and a sweet potato and prep as you would mashed potatoes.  Add the sautee and the chopped bacon to the potatoes and throw in a raw egg and enough panko breadcrumbs to get a good consistency.  Enough so that when forming into small balls, they stay together.  Roll in panko. Let set in the refrigerator for at least 30 minutes before frying until pretty and brown in 350 degree oil.  Serve with a cheese sauce (left over from the mac and cheese... lawwwwwwd) and sprinkle with parsley. 

The Deal:
You see I only fried three right?  Right.  Shut up and enjoy. Freeze the unfried until Andrew and Peter show up at your door.